#10 - Dear Peggy: Your Cara, my Valentina

Dear Peggy: After seeing your Cara in her beautiful prom gown, I started thinking about my own little girl and the journey she will begin this fall when she enters high school.

I must admit everything about high school makes me feel confused and nervous. My schooling in the States is reduced to first through fifth and then some of seventh grade. That is it. After that I would spend the nine months of the school year (or less if my parents could arrange it) in Mexico.

That is why I was surprised to discover that the Drill Team could be considered as a pretty big deal. To be honest, I’m just becoming a bit familiar with terms like drill team, varsity and the such, having no prior direct experience or knowledge about them myself.

My years in the high school equivalent in Mexico, were a terrible ordeal (at the beginning) and a most wonderful experience (at the end) for me.

I remember big (non-academic) encounters in high school: smoking, beer and stronger alcoholic drinks, the “making out” with boys, the invitation to drugs and other unhealthy but seductive possibilities.

All in all, I was a subdued and good girl. I did try the cigarettes and alcohol, “made out” rather inadequately and timidly with the boy who became my first husband, but never tried the pot or its more dangerous and probable companions.

I wonder how it is nowadays in a U.S. high school, like the one my Valentina will be attending. I imagine and I tell her that she will have to make difficult choices and decisions for herself that I will not be there to make for her. I tell her she will be exposed to what we consider immoral and incorrect behaviors, and some that will be just right out illegal. She has my trust and love, because I think she has a good head on her shoulders and high moral standards for herself. I think she will have to turn away from some things, like the making out in public when this is a most private behavior not to be shared. She will see and hear of girls and boys doing totally inappropriate things that I hope she will walk away from.

Anyway, I know you probably have discussed with and heard of these things from your Cara who soon will be exiting this phase of her life to enter into her young adult phase. I was wondering if Cara would have any brief pointers for my soon-to-be freshman that could help her avoid the most obvious potholes and cultural obstacles at their soon-to-be shared high school.

#9 - My Books: Carry the One by Carol Anshaw

I admit I was distracted when I started reading this book. I bought it on impulse for my Nook. After reading the first 15-20 pages, I had to go back to the beginning and start over because I couldn't keep the characters and their relationships straight in my head. Once I got that settled, I really enjoyed this book.

The title has to do with simple arithmetic and addition, when you have to carry the one to the column on the left to proceed with the sum. In the case of the novel the one that need to be carried, is a pre-teen, Casey, who is killed on a country road, late at night, by a car full of drugged, drunk careless, young people. As is the case when you're young, there is really no realization or full awareness of how this tragedy will mark and be present in their lives.

The narrative centers especially around three siblings obviously smart: Carmen (the bride, a social activist, and then mother of Gabe, one of the minor characters), Alice (a painter whose works will gain her fame and fortune) and Nick
(a promising astrophysicist who lives prisoner of and succumbs to his addictions).

We follow the lives of these three people and their significant others through the course of 25 years and we see how they can't or won't forgive themselves for being in the car that killed Casey. They can't find redemption or self-forgiveness through their work, their achievements or the relationships they establish as they grow and mature. They are unable to identify and grasp the windows of grace as they appear in their lives. And they also have no sense of spiritual/religious faith that might aide them into letting go of guilt and give happiness a try (happiness, I sensed, was like an indecency, an offense, in light of the tragedy that binds them).

Anshaw writes clearly, precisely and with shrewd, compassionate humanity. I really appreciate how seamless she is able to weave into the story and with a non-judgmental voice topics that not everyone is comfortable with, say, homosexuality. Another topic discussed with matter-of-factness is drug abuse, the emptiness it creates, the lack of direction when you're holding on for dear life (or for the dear next fix, as might be the case).

And that little girl long dead, is a pervasive, constant element in our reading. Alice, the gifted artist, dedicates an excellent series of paintings to Casey as the subject, always dressed in the same clothes she was wearing the night she was killed, but in the paintings she appears to be growing and having a life. Nick visits Casey's family, almost like a pilgrimage, every year (at the end, Casey's mother is able to come to terms with him). Carmen dives head on into her causes and her social activism.

The person that sort of disappears early on is Olivia (Nick's then girlfriend), the car driver that ill-fated night to reappear again at the end to be part of one of the most touching scenes in the book for me that involves a dream and a slippery surface.

The book and its characters are a mess and they live messy lives. But do we, human beings, really have any other alternatives? 'Fraid not.